I believe, completely believe, that Love the hardest thing we will ever do. Love that you see in those damn Meg Ryan movies isn't real love. Love isnt simple misunderstandings, Love is an all out war. Some of the best movies I have seen have this darkness of the heart in them: American Beauty, Moulin Rouge, Eternal Sunshine, and recently Brokeback Mountain. It's why I followed Buffy/Spike as opposed to Buffy/Angel. They suffer and fight and die for it. Pop culture references I know but they really mean something to me. Yes, the people are in are in love, and most of the time that love is returned, but they suffer. They fight for their love. They fight for the moments that make love everything those pop singers and chick-flick movie producers don't understand. Love isn't valentines day red it's that dark thick blood red, and its the most beautiful "color". If Love was easy it woulld be flat, it would be so common and sit-com-y. Instead Love is everything that makes you want to die and makes you want to soar. Love is the most powerful thing, the most beautiful thing, and the most glorious thing anyone can hope for. But before that, Love must be wretched and hard and painful and low. Otherwise I don't think it will last, otherwise, I don't think it's worth it. I don't think it's Love.
This could of course explain why I don't look for love. It may in fact explain why I cannot keep a boyfriend, what guy wants that?
I am completely in love and in despair with Love.